Voicemails

I HATE 'em!

I hardly ever check them and the only reason I do is to remove that symbol on the toolbar of my phone. 

I don't understand why someone can't just text me.  Why?  Why can't you just text?  If you text and I don't return it, I sure as hell am not going to answer a phone call.  In fact, I am MORE likely to return a text.  On the flip side, if I don't answer, text me!  I MIGHT just be busy and unable to talk on the phone yet still be able to return a text.  Here are some examples of shit I might be doing that would deter me from answering a call, yet would still allow for a return text:

Watching TV

Hanging out with a friend

Working

Cleaning house

Masturbating

In a meeting

Eating

At a loud club

Hiking at the top of a windy cliff

Already talking to someone more interesting

Already talking to someone I HAVE to talk to

Havng sex

Waiting on someone behind a door so I can scare the shit out of them when they come through it

On the toilette

On the elliptibeast

Waiting in line at the DMV

Closing a big money deal

Nude modeling

Listening to music at home

Evacuating the dancefloor

At a concert

Getting a massage

Having my hair did

Going through the security line at the airport

Wearing a helmet

Playing video games

Eavesdropping on the neighbors

Another thing.  And this should not even need to be said.  It...it baffles me that I shoud have to mention this here.  DO NOT TEXT ME AND TELL ME TO CALL YOU.  Seriously, what kind of power trip are you on?  You can pull your phone out and take the time to text those words, which actually required more effort than calling, but you command me to call YOU.  FUCK YOU.   If you text me that, you can pretty much bet that I am NOT going to call you under any circumstances.  If you need to speak to me, just call. 

Now, before you start thinking this is a contradiction just listen.  Call if you need to.  If I don't answer, just try back later or text me your business.  Someone recently texted "Can I call you..are you free?".  This person has it figured out.  If I didn't see the text and didn't return it, she knows I am obviously unavailable.  In this case, I actually did see the text and I replied by simply calling her.  See how easy that is? 

Kisses,

Olive