How about let's not multitask in driver's seat

Let's talk about driving.  Actually, perhaps I should say let's talk about being a passenger.  Actually, no.  Hell no, this is not about the passenger.  It's about the driver.  Thing is, I need to flesh out some passenger anxiety (PA) but as soon as I start thinking about it, I realize that this passenger anxiety I have is not always there and is brought on by haphazard, unfocused driving at the hands of whoever has the misfortune of driving me at that time.  When I think of it that way, I think we need to talk about driving.  Aww shucks let's just dive right in. 

I am not sure if this PA is of my own doing.  I know this might be surprising, but I am a bit of a control freak, planner, super organizer and know-it-all.  No one drives as well as I do.  I can't do anything, much less drive, without purpose.  Driving in traffic is an opportunity to build strategy skills.  A puzzle, if you will.  How can I get from point A to point B most efficiently and safely?  This takes mental planning ahead and I shall revisit this later. 

Thing is, I am not a nervous passenger with everyone that drives me.  Some people's driving is just as natural as my own to me and I don't even think about it.  I love it when they drive.  It gives me a much needed break from chauffering and allows me to relax and enjoy the ride.  Unfortunately, these times are few and far between. 

Let's take, for example, my lovely, much adored girlfriend.  (I may be playing with fire here.) To say that she makes me a nervous wreck, crying inside, begging for our destination may very well be an understatement.  Ok, ok.  Maybe that "understatement" was actually an overstatement.  What I am trying to say is that she drives the opposite of me and it is imperative that I learn to be a better passenger and she learns to be a better driver so that I can reconsider that anti-anxiety medication. 

Driving with your knees so that you can take your hair down from a pony, put your hat on, re-pony the hair, check your phone for texts, and then remember that you dont have your seatbelt on so you quickly put that on, turning your head to talk to the passenger, completely ignoring the work time traffic.  No, friends, sadly this list is not compiled from various car trips.  These things were done all in a single sitting, within a 45 second window while driving at about 60 in morning rush hour traffic.  I didn't say anything at first.  When she turned and looked at me, I simply shook my head and she knew instantly why.  I should mention that all the while she was doing this, she was talking about an NPR interview about multitasking and how destructive it can be.  Hmm. 

On another occcasion, my car nearly met with a giant railroad crossing gate right on the top of it.  you see, the red flashing lights and lowering of the crossing gates only meant "keep going" to her.  She really didn't even speed up that much and as we crossed under the gate, barely salvaging the roof of my car, me heart pounded and my blood pressure rose.  I think I blurted out something like, "Oh my god, what the fuck are you DOING?!?" I couldn't help myself.  It was the first cross word ever spoken between us* and I truly felt poorly about it later. 

When we talk about this, she says she gets bored in the car and needs things to do (what?  You're DRIVING...that is DOING SOMETHING!).   She recently mentioned putting a notepad on her dash so she could write shit down and make lists.  Obviously, this is not a good idea for her.  She also said it was like a videogame.  Still waiting on an explanation for that one. 

She is spontaneous, ad-lib, break loose type. The differences in our personalities are reflected in our driving.  So, when she is only half looking at the person in front of us, I am looking intently at the person two cars ahead.  When she is waiting to the last minute to get over to exit, I thought we shoud have been over a 1/2 mile back.  When she is on the phone, and forgets to press the gas and is traveling at 30mph, I am accutely aware of the person going 55mph running our ass over. 

In any case, I am really trying to remember that this woman drove across the country and back without incident.  I am making strides in curbing my PA and seperating the simple differences in driving from those that are potentially unsafe.  I am now fine with her speed, her last minute lane changes and her strange sense of direction.  I keep my comments to myself unless it is a safety issue like nearly rear ending someone on a pretty regular basis, pulling a book out to read, knee driving in general, and all the countless other things OTHER than driving that she may be seen doing from behind the driver's seat. 

Wish me luck that we tailor this situation to our advantage.  Maybe I drive if we are in my car, or if we are in a hurry.  Maybe she is the one that drives when we are having a nice country drive down a rural road.  Perhaps we avoid railroad crossings at all costs.  Maybe I go ahead and fill that Paxil RX.  Maybe she gets pissed at this blog and leaves my ass, who knows? 

Retaliatory blog in 8...7...6...

(* there was that one time regarding the text message break up but I shant speak of that lest I write a blog about it and how insanely discourteous it was)