Liars.

INTEGRITY

in·teg·ri·ty 

[in-teg-ri-tee]

–noun

1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

How important is this to you?  If it is important for you to maintain a certain level of integrity yourself, then how important is it that others around you do the same?  I had this type discussion last night and it proved to be a bit challenging for me to relate to the poor person on the other end having to listen to my blabber. 

To me, integrity is a very important thing to expect both from myself but also the people around me.  I don't mean to judge those complicated situations which would require more sincere contemplation to fully understand and sit in a gray area.  That's too relative for me.  I mean let's talk about blatant, purposeful, compulsive liars.  That is the most simple, obvious assault on one's own integrity there is. 

To break it down further, I used the word purposeful because I'd like to make  a distinction between someone who truly believes what they are saying and are simply mistaken and those who are very well aware that they are lying. 

You know these people.  I don't have to give examples.  These empty shells spew out whatever they think you want to hear at the time, even if they have no basis for what they are saying.  They know EVERYTHING.  That's why they are so important, you see?  They have heard everything, they have already done everything you're doing, they always have a juicy story, everyone always wants them and they ALWAYS get laid. 

Someone said to me that they can forgive an offender's tall tales if they are nice.  I would like to ask you guys, how do you know that?  How do you know if someone is nice or not if every word out of their dicktrap is so obviously a lie?  How do you know if someone is truly nice if you see them routinely kiss people's ass that you know they don't care for?   If they are consistently betraying others, how do you know they are nice to you? 

Here's the thing.  They if they are lying to other's they are lying to you.  If they are spreading lies about others, they are doing it to you.  If they are manipulating other's they are manipulating you.  You are not special to these people.  They are only loyal to whomever is in front of them at the time.  I have had to learn this lesson the hard way a few times in life.  Yes, I may have been a slow learner to have been burned multiple times.  But I am SO GLAD I DID! 

I can't just- as some people would do- turn a blind, glossy eye at this sort of thing.  How can you build a relationship on that?  If you are hanging out with them talking, how can you decipher what's real and what is pulled out of thin air to make them look more important, or bad ass, or hotter, or more innocent, or more guilty, or rebellious, etc...  I can tell you this, if I want to head to fantasy land, I can simply drop a couple sugar cubes soaked in lysergic acid and come up with some friends way more interesting and real than that of a compulsive liar. 

I fear I have gotten off on a tangent.  I like tangents so I will keep going.  Click away from my page if you are offended by this post.  Although, if you are, I probably don't want you around anyway. 

There was another question of the group hanging out process.  The word 'boycott' was thrown out there.  I was asked if I would boycott someone.  My answer is a resounding YES.  I mean, why the fuck not?  Am I losing anything?  Shall I choose to be around them to subject myself to my own torment?

Here is my solution.  A larger group setting is clearly not as unbearable as an intimate dinner and walk in the park with one of these.  So, I say, the bigger the group, the more likely I am to take a break from the boycott.  The more watered down they can be, the better.  I don't need them full strength.  I can't take it and if you ask me to, you just run the risk of me being a total bitch to them at some point. 

There is also what I call the 'special occasion clause'.  If a special occasion rolls through, as they always do, then exceptions can be made given at least some dilution.  One on one is absolutely out of the question at all times, even during a special occasion.  (this would never happen anyway because if I have boycotted you, you are probably not going to ask me to buddy up with you in the first place)

There aren't too many things I do in life that I don't want to do.  I just don't encounter it much.  Feeling obligated to hang out with a person I can't bear is foreign to me.  My point is, sometimes these dreadful people are kept around, even when the people around them detest their company.  That is not fair to anyone and strips away at one's own integrity.  Stop enabling the liars, please. 

The average lifespan of a woman is 79 years.  That is nothing, a speck, a tiny glimmer, a grain of sand in the sahara, nothing, nothing, nothing.  Unlike some, I believe this is my only life. I only have that teeny tiny speck of sand in which to operate within and I am telling you, I am not spending any part of it indulging someone I can't trust, can't stand, or find appalingly artificial. 

This is a GREAT thing because at least of I am hanging out with you, you know I WANT to be there!